Is Auburn Cursed?

that was the question i recently posed my barber. his response was, "sir, this is a panera bread. please stop coming in here asking us weird questions and demanding hair cuts." "uh, then how do you explain the rash of injuries this year to auburn alums?", i countered. it was around this time that i was escorted out of the barbershop. but i remain convinced that something is afoot.

just this sunday, carlos rogers suffered a season-ending knee injury, joining two of his notable teammates from the undefeated 2004 auburn team on injured reserve. carnell williams' career could be in jeopardy after his knee blew out a little over a month ago and the week before last, ronnie brown tore a knee ligament trying to make a tackle after an interception. even the backup behind williams and brown from 2004, kenny irons, is out for the season after tearing his acl in the bengals' first preseason game. and the player kenny irons was drafted to help back up, rudi johnson, is also an auburn alum who has essentially missed half the season. if this were opposite day, the list would end there. unfortunately, this isn't the case.

• takeo spikes - cursed with an achilles tear in 2005 and has since struggled to regain his previous from.
• marquis daniels - cursed with being teammates with jamaal tinsley. they are going to trial in december for charges involving a bar fight they got into.
  
• heath evans - cursed with being a white running back who only gets on the field to pass block when the patriots are blowing out their opponent.
• pat burke - cursed with being the first irish player in the nba. also cursed with being a generally bad basketball player.
  
• bo jackson - cursed with a severe hip injury which turned the two-sport athlete became a zero-sport athlete.
• charles barkley - cursed with being a hall of fame power forward who never won a championship and now is constantly pestered by dwyane wade about his phone plan.
• the person brothers - cursed with never being able to prove that they weren't just the same... person.
• frank thomas - cursed with being the galaxy's best athlete. a pain no one knows.

are these merely unrelated coincidences or will we see this on the next episode of beyond belief: fact or fiction? i can't say for sure, partly because beyond belief: fact or fiction was cancelled like five years ago. but if it hadn't and if i were jason campbell, i'd buy one of those sterile bubble boy bubbles to avoid any potential maladies or freak injuries. but i've been kind of planning on buying one of those things anyways. the point is, auburn is definitely cursed and my hair is too long.