Charlgers in Charge

as i've been minding my own business this past week, i couldn't help but notice that there had been an exponential increase in chargers jerseys being worn around as compared to other weeks. i suspect it's a result of last sunday's epic upset of the colts that leaves the norv turner-led chargers one game from the super bowl. although, it's equally likely that i just keep running into chargers players who are, for whatever reason, wearing their own jerseys out in public. but since i don't think that ladainian tomlinson bags groceries in his spare time or that shawne merriman is actually a 5-year old asian girl whose parents make her wear a helmet when she's playing on the jungle gym, i doubt this is the case.

either way, people around here are understandably excited about this week's game in new england. this is in direct contrast to two weeks ago when the chargers nearly had to blackout their first round playoff game against the titans on local tv due to not having sold out their tickets. the forecast called for a light rain which in san diego means schools are closed, canned food and bottled water is re-stocked, and windows are boarded up. as such, many residents decided they'd rather watch the game from the comforts of their homes as opposed to in person with a rain coat, umbrella, or worse, galoshes. but even so, i wouldn't describe san diegans as fair weather fans, unless you meant they generally cheer their teams on in fair weather. it's just that their priorities are a little different. given the few years i've lived here, this is how i would rank where i think the common san diegan's rooting interests lie:

1. the beach
2. the chargers
3. surfing
4. the padres
5. the san diego zoo
6. quang
7. fish tacos
8. seaworld
9. reggie bush
10. the white sox

anyways, the more i've talked to chargers fans, fair weather or not, the more i've been told that they, the chargers not their fans, are going to make the patriots the league's first 17-1 team and advance to the super bowl. at first i just assumed it was delusion and hysterics from overzealous fans who had just eaten spoiled fish tacos. but then i started to talk myself into it too. they've beaten the colts twice, they've won eight straight games, their defense is playing well, their running game is superior, why can't they win? oh, because the patriots have won seventeen straight, their offense is the most potent in the league, and their coach doesn't lose or give extended handshakes or wear collared shirts. well, no one said it was going to be easy, other than a few chargers fans at work who told me "it's going to be easy", but i have a feeling this game might be more competitive than i originally thought.

new england comes into the game as 14-point favorites while san diego limps in with questions surrounding the status of three of their best players. tomlinson is expected to play, but if he can't, mike'n'ike turner is a more than capable back up. rivers is probably the most questionable, having injured his knee against the colts. if he doesn't suit up, the chargers will hope billy volek can play nearly as well as he did last weekend while also finding time to taunt fans. to me, the chargers' biggest health concern is that of antonio gates, especially if volek is forced into action. gates has posed tremendous match up problems for most teams this year, and against an old and slow patriots linebacking corps he'd likely continue this success. the patriots defense can be exploited, but is san diego's offense healthy enough to do so?

if i were a die-hard chargers fan, my biggest concern is defensively trying to contain new england's nintendo-like offense. of course, if they had a game genie this would be no problem as they could just start the game with 50 points, turn offsides off, and give jamal williams infinite lives. but since performance enhancers are frowned upon, they'll have to face the patriots' frightening passing attack straight up. therefore i think the key to this game is going to be the battle in the trenches between the chargers defense and the patriots offensive line. if merriman, shaun phillips, jamal williams, luis castillo and company can generate the type of pressure we've seen in games past, it would certainly help slow down the new england offense.

unfortunately though, new england's offensive line is an impenetrable and immovable fortress that has kept king brady upright and throwing darts at his loyal subjects. well it's a metaphorical fortress, i'm pretty sure building a moat in front of your quarterback is not allowed. regrettably, i don't know enough about line play to know anything beyond "that offensive line is good" or "that offensive line is bad. me hungry". but since tom brady has not once had to wash his jersey after a game this entire season, i'm pretty sure new england's falls into the first category. of course, you probably already knew that. but did you know that in addition to being good, they're all white? all of them. not just the starters, every offensive linemen on the patriots is white. this is fascinating to me. new england is the only team in the league where this is the case. they're also the only team that hasn't lost this season. and since this is a copycat league, i'm afraid in a few years roger godell might have to implement another rooney rule for o-linemen.

all things considered, i don't share the optimism that my fellow san diegans do about this game. between injuries and the glaring fact that the patriots are a pretty good football team, things just seemed stacked in new england's favor. it also seems like the chargers have already had to overcome so much just to get here that i don't know what they have left. but like most people across the country, i'll be rooting for san diego all the same. though unlike most people across the country, i'll be rooting a little harder for the beach.

I Still Miss Sean Taylor

it's always tough to know the right things to say when an athlete dies. is it ok that we sometimes care more about an athlete's passing than the countless other anonymous people who tragically die every day? is it accurate when people say "it's not a sports story" when we wouldn't even know about them if not for their sports career? these are questions that i'm not smart nor insightful enough to provide answers to. the only thing i know at this point is that i woke up this morning and my favorite football player did not. and now, maybe or maybe not justifiably, i'm heartbroken.

when i initially read that sean had been shot in his miami home, for whatever reason, i wasn't exceptionally concerned. the report said he had been shot in his leg and i ignorantly assumed he'd be fine. wizards forward andray blatche was shot in the chest a few years ago and he's since made a full recovery, paul pierce was stabbed in the face and he looks exactly the same as before, even joey porter got shot in his buttocks and has lived to tell about it even though no one is particularly fond of stories involving joey porter's buttocks. with that in mind, i thought sean would make a similar recovery and besides, if there was anyone who could survive a gunshot it was the invincible sean taylor.

instead, the local radio reports regarding his health persisted and though he remained in critical condition, i remained optimistic that he'd make a full recovery. when i was writing the most recent today's best entry late last night, i even considered including sean based solely on the positive reports of his improved signs of responsiveness. i ultimately decided to hold off until what i assumed was his inevitable and forthcoming hospital release before i began to sing his praises and predict that in his next game he'd record 15 sacks, two of which would be of jason campbell. so i went to bed satisfied about a paragraph i wrote about mud. when i woke up, i couldn't believe what i was hearing. i sat helplessly on my bed in stunned silence shaking my head for fifteen minutes. i was confused, bewildered, angry, and emotional. i wanted to go back to sleep hoping that when i woke up, espn's breaking news wasn't about sean taylor dying, but about sean taylor dodging gunfire, hit sticking these burglars into submission, and saving christmas. it was unfortunately the last desperation of a stubborn man and an outcome that i never even seriously considered had just become a horrible reality. i was sick to my stomach.

anyways, i'm sure you're familiar with the latest details surrounding this upsetting death by now. so instead of depressing myself further and telling you things that can easily be found on credible websites, i'd much rather celebrate my favorite memories involving sean taylor that you can only find on in-credible websites. because ever since he was drafted, he became many redskins fans' favorite redskin and in my case, he became my favorite football player. though i doubt i'm the biggest sean taylor fan, i'd like to believe i'm one of the most irrational and blindly loyal. as such, here are a few moments that i'll always remember from his all too brief time in my life.

• before the 2004 draft, my roommate and i were hopeful that kellen winslow would fall to washington. we knew that drafting his miami teammate was the smarter move, but we were too enthralled with junior winslow's unique skill set and unique press conference where he famously declared himself a soldier. thankfully for the redskins, they don't consult us for these decisions and with the 5th pick of the draft sean taylor became a redskin.
• in fall 2004, i went to the redskins store in the mall with the sole purpose of buying a sean taylor jersey. sean taylor's freakish and reckless play had endeared himself to me and i decided to support him in jersey form. as i was paying, the employee at the register said to me, "nice, i've been meaning to get a sean taylor jersey too." i thought to myself, "uh, i didn't ask for your life story. just ring me up so i can pretend i'm sean taylor already." he did and i did.
• in the final game of sean taylor's rookie season, my brother and i went to landover to watch the redskins-vikings play in person. we had somehow acquired field level tickets and watched up close as sean tossed randy moss around. the redskins eventually won and randy moss left the field before the game ended drawing the ire of football purists who don't understand the concept of beating the rush. more importantly though, with our seats we got free hot dogs which i assume were courtesy of sean taylor.
• one year i participated in a fantasy football league with individual defensive players. in the second round of the draft i took sean taylor. after the draft, another team offered me a trade that would send sean taylor to his team for his first 10 draft picks. i smartly declined and began the season on a very long winning streak before my season collapsed when it was apparent i hadn't surrounded sean taylor with enough talent.
• in a playoff game in 2005 against the buccaneers, marcus washington recovered a fumble and then fumbled it himself. sean taylor flew in, picked up the ball without breaking stride, and streaked into the end zone. if i had five dollars for every high five i gave after that play, i'd have made like $35. this would have put me halfway closer to a more recent sean taylor jersey which reflected his number change at the beginning of this year.
• during last year's pro bowl, sean taylor leveled an afc punter so hard that the punter ran over and congratulated him. the same punter also later congratulated sean taylor for curing diabetes, so take that for what it's worth.
• in madden 08, i created a team and after a fantasy draft, sean taylor was inserted as the fairfax megamen's starting free safety. i soon figured out that when you add a created team in franchise mode, the players on that team are duplicates. as you would expect, i took full advantage as my defense boasted two sean taylors in its starting secondary. not one to waste time trying to tame all madden, i played a season on pro level and the sean taylors combined for 40+ interceptions. i'm 24 years old.
• earlier this year against the packers, sean taylor intercepted brett farve twice during one of those games where brett favre just has more fun than everyone else. during this game, sean also had a chance to intercept two or three other passes which would have almost certainly resulted in the first game that ended with someone other than brett favre having the most fun. sean taylor is the best.

if it's not obvious, sean taylor was one of my favorite things about sundays and pretty much every other day of the week as well. his loss, in every sense imaginable, is devastating and he, in every sense imaginable, is irreplaceable. i'm not really sure what else there is to say because after a full day of work, i still feel miserable. but i guess it's hard to feel anything else when someone you've rooted so hard for is suddenly murdered as yet another grim and unnecessary reminder that it's a despicably cold world out there. a cold world that cuts short lives full of potential. a cold world that takes a young father away from his daughter before her 2nd birthday. and unfortunately, a cold world in which life will continue even after this senseless death.

one day i'm sure i'll move on and instead of getting hopelessly sad when i remember sean taylor, i'll smile fondly. maybe it'll be when i tell my kids stories about how great sean taylor was. maybe when it'll be when i see my kids wearing an old sean taylor jersey. or maybe it'll be when i explain to my kids how their mother and i almost got a divorce when i told her i wanted to name each of them "the invincible sean taylor". one day.

just not today.

R.I.P Sean Taylor

Pro-Bowl Redskins Safety, Sean Taylor died early this morning a day after being shot in the femoral artery during a burglary attempt in his Miami home. The outlook looked bleak Monday as all reports were being described as "critical or touch and go" but the late news was encouraging as, Taylor was reportedly able to make hand signals and facial expressions. This morning i awoke to the loudest "Ohhhh, God!" ever when my roommate, was texted the news, and knowing that his favorite NFL player was in critical condition, I immediately new what had happened. The 24 year old Taylor was well on his way to becoming the best safety in the NFL and, was beginning to coordinate his hard-hitting reputation with some of the more subtle nuances of the safety position. We send our deepest condolence to the Taylor family, the Redskins and the NFL community as a whole...

Joey Porter Hates America

if you're like me, you don't like joey porter. though if you're like joey porter, you're a miserable football player and a big fat jerk. and if that's the case, i don't like you or your horse-killing dogs or your six friends who helped you gang up on levi jones either. thankfully, karma has been restored, and this year joey porter is playing a key role on the winless miami dolphins, much to my delight. he has been so inconsequential thus far that we haven't really heard anything about him since he guranteed a victory against the raiders in week 4. this was a game the dolphins lost by 18 points while allowing daunte culpepper to rush for three scores and pass for another two. strangely, neither the dolphins nor the raiders have won since this game, which further proves my theory that joey porter ruins things.

but finally, the point. as you may know, ricky williams was recently reinstated by the league and has been spotted around the dolphins' complex. this is either what the dolphins call their training facility or the psychological phenomena that causes them to do things like not drafting brady quinn, trading for a pre-concussed trent green, and letting mercury morris answer questions about teams who could go undefeated. either way, for illogical reasons only beknownst to them, someone decided to ask joey porter what he thought about this, specifically whether he'd accept ricky williams back onto the team. porter's response was enlightening.

"Yeah I would. We're 0-9. I'd welcome bin Laden if he could run the ball like Ricky did."

i don't even know where to begin. how about: "if you're like me, you don't like joey porter. though if you're like joey porter, you think letting terrorists play for your football your team is a good idea." it's never a good sign when the person who is 3rd on the fbi's most wanted fugitive list is first on your team's most wanted running back list. but fortunately for the dolphins and the united states and the people that run the terror alert scale who would have had to start using colors from 64-packs of crayloa crayons if osama bin laden played football, joey porter doesn't make the decisions in miami. because if he did, not only would our current threat level rise to cerulean or burnt sienna or razzle dazzle rose, but the dolphins would also field a team consisting of bin laden, john wilkes booth, cruella de vil, and the ebola virus. and instead of punting on fourth downs, the dolphins would always run trick plays where they burn flags and root against brett favre. it would be madness.

anyways, it's obvious that joey porter wasn't seriously considering flying bin laden in for a tryout, but i'm mocked outraged the same. mainly because i don't like joey porter. but for his sake, i'm hopeful that joey porter's wish of playing football with osama bin laden comes true. when roger goodell bans him from the nfl forever because of these inane comments, forcing him to sign with the al-qaeda terminaedas. if not, joey porter will continue to play in the nfl against true americans. the terrorists have already won.