Game of the Weak

tonight's nba schedule features a full and diverse set of games. but there is one in particular that caught my eye. is it dwight howard and the upstart magic facing lebron james' cavaliers? could it be the kobe's lakers taking on the upstart houston rockets? or perhaps it's the upstart celtics looking to extend their record to 7-0 to upstart the season? on any other night, i'd be delighted to watch either of those games, but not tonight. because tonight the 0-8 sonics visit the 1-6 miami heat. robert swift guarding a lethargic shaq? durant versus ricky davis? johan petro guarding a lethargic shaq? dwyane wade's newest suit? nick collison guarding a lethargic shaq? chris wilcox and udonis haslem braiding each other's hair? kurt thomas guarding a lethargic shaq? smush parker and chris quinn as backup point guards? a lethargic shaq? penny hardaway and damien wilkins starting? sign me up twice. uh, just in case my first sign up is misplaced.

the sonics are currently 6-point underdogs, though i think a more appropriate line would be any viewers of this game as a 20-point favorite. but i'm not an oddsmaker, i'm only odd. either way, the heat come into this game 0-3 at home while the sonics have similar 0-4 records at their home and at everyone else's. the average scores of games that the sonics and heat have played so far are opponent - 107.9, sonics - 97.4 and opponent - 89.3, heat - 83.3. so which team can impose its will on the other? specifically, will the sonics lose in an uptempo, high-scoring game or will the heat lose in a stop and go, traffic jam-like game? but before we try to predict what happens tonight, let's examine how each of these teams got here. because as they say, those who forget history are doomed to play mark blount.

the heat's season so far could be best described as "woeful at best". they are currently averaging 3 fewer points than the 2nd lowest scoring team and have only once, in a game against the suns, broke 90 points. last night, the heat lost by 15 to the bobcats. this was the second time charlotte has beaten miami this year and at this rate, the heat will lose to primoz brezec and the bobcats over 23 times this season. the elias sports bureau has confirmed that this would be a league record. and as if things weren't going bad enough, pat riley had this to say about last night's loss:

"I guarantee you I should suit up. I'd play better than some of them right now. I guarantee it. I swear to God. With an old hip and 62 years old and I can't see, I'll play better than some of my guys tonight. Come on, they were pretty bad."

now heat players have to worry about looking over their shoulders for a delusional coach eager to steal their minutes. seriously, if pat riley actually thinks he can play effective basketball right, now not only is he off his rocker, he's off my rocker. if he played himself for five minutes he'd miss 70 shots and turn the ball over 35 times before fouling out and trying to coach his team out of a 450-4 hole in the next three and a half quarters. hopefully that doesn't happen because there is hope for this team. they've allowed the 2nd fewest points in the league up to this point and more importantly, dwyane wade is going to play soon. simple arithemetic says that once the heat add his 27 points per game to their current 83 points per game, they'll average like 110 points a game! so unless the heat are 1-80 by the time wade returns, i like their chances to make the playoffs.

the sonics outlook this year is a little less cheery. so far, they've played like a team that was hoping to secure a top two draft pick so they could select kevin durant. bad news sonics, you already drafted kevin durant, he's the guy taking 80% of your team's shots. but with that said, the sonics haven't been as bad as advertised. durant seems to be adjusting well and chris wilcox has been a pleasant surprise. also, if you throw out last night's blowout loss to the magic, they've been highly competitive in every game this year. and if you throw out every game this year, the sonics are undefeated. more seriously, the sonics' biggest problem is their inability to close out games. again, ignoring their last game, through the first three quarters, the average score has been opponents - 80, sonics - 78. in the fourth quarter though, seattle has been generally outscored 28-22. once durant learns how to finish games and once they make a firm decision on their cerberus-like point guard rotation, the sonics will improve. but looking at seattle's upcoming schedule, if they don't win this game tonight, it's very possible that they don't win a game for another three years as the oklahoma city disorder. though maybe the sonics have been purposely losing with the hope that oklahoma city decides they don't want an nba team. and if that's what it takes to keep basketball in seattle, i hope they never win another game and the sonics trade kevin durant to the wizards for a 2nd round draft pick.

anyways, as evident, my excitement over this mediocre game is unreasonably high. my prediction: everyone wins. except for the heat, who lose by 3 because pat riley inserts himself into the starting lineup.

Season Preview: Seattle Supersonics

Joe: This will be unpopular but I'm going to let everyone know that I think Kevin Durant will not be the be the rookie of the year, let alone the best rookie on his team. that honor will go to Jeff Green. The fact that Green stayed in school and played major conference basketball for three years, has made him a much more complete player than Durant at the moment. Not only can Green play defense on his man, something Durant has not learned to do; but he also has an NBA- ready body and won't be bullied like Durant surely will. This is not to say that Jeff Green has a higher ceiling than Durant, but for this season, I'd put my money on Jeff having a better year.

The sad part about this team is that with Ray Allen trying to sniff out a championship in Boson and Rashard Lewis exiting for a payday, the two players I spoke about earlier are among the few bright spots on the team. The backcourt features the most useless point guard competition of all time, featuring Earl Watson and Luke Ridnour, two tremendously flawed players, Watson offensively, Ridnour defensively, that will be vying for starter's minutes. Nick Collison and Kurt Thomas are bruisers down low, who will work tirelessly for rebounds and get clean-up points around the basket. Chris Wilcox has a ton of upside down low, but now entering his 6th season, it's about time that he put up or shut up. From the early preseason returns it seems that he refuses to be silent. Another enigma is Robert Swift the highly touted fourth year seven footer who still remains in the league because you cant teach height. Swift finds himself as the starting center in Seattle, an honor he will surely fumble away as if it were an entry pass. Wally Szczerbiak has resurfaced, and can provide some of the outside scoring and all of the defense (none) that Rashard Lewis provided while he roamed the wings. PJ Carlesimo will also have a hard time keeping Delonte West off of the floor. I suspect he will be in the starting line up at either one of the guard spots by the end of November.

Quang: three years ago, the supersonics won 52 games. over the last two years the sonics have won a combined 66 games. what was different in 2004-05? well for starters, nate mcmillan was the coach. but after the season he opted for portland, and as a result, the sonics had to find another coach. one, who was likely not among the top 30 in career steals. therefore without someone constantly reminding them to "steal the ball! steal the ball like i did 1,544 times in my career" the sonics defense suffered. and their potent offense was suddently not potent enough. other departures from seattle that summer were antonio daniels, quietly effective that season, jerome james, loudly defective that season, and ibo kutluay, a player whose only nba season was with these 52-win sonics and accumulated a player efficiency rating of -13. and now we've reached the point of my spontaneous history lesson. how bad do you have to play that you have a -13 player efficiency rating? how is it possible to have a rating that is lower than matten cleaves by 22.1? what does a -13 player efficiency rating even mean? does that mean ibo kutluay had a 13 player efficiency rating for the other team? was ibo scoring points on his own basket? did all ibo's passes go through his own basket? if five ibo kutluays played against a normal basketball team what would happen? would it just be a lay up line? what if five ibo kutluays played against five ibo kutluays? would it even be a basketball game or just an ibo kutluay game of freeze tag? why is this more interesting to me than anything else about the sonics?

well unfortunately for the sonics, ibo kutluay is not walking through that door. and for the first time in over four years, neither is ray allen nor rashard lewis. but kevin durant is. he is the most exciting sonic since shawn kemp was blistering listers and siring children. i figure durant should be more than enough to help sonics fans forget about their miserable 2006-07 campaign before realizing that their franchise's savior is inevitably going to save the franchise from oklahoma city. but regardless of where the sonics eventually hang their hat, one thing is certain, their rookie tandem of durant and jeff green is one of the most exciting upcoming duos in the league. i expect in a few years i'll be talking about the durant and green combo like i talk about nacho cheese combos. which is to say, i'll talk about them so much my breath will smell like nacho cheese. anyways, it's rare nowadays to see two rookie teammates enter the season with the franchise basically put in their hands, so i'm interested to see what happens. hopefully they'll find more success together than eddy curry and tyson chandler did. and if not, hopefully neither of them gets robbed at gunpoint in their own home.

other than durant and green, the sonics have loads of other players. how many of them will be key contributors down the road remains to be seen. at point, the sonics will choose from luke ridnour, earl watson, and delonte west. west seems like the most talented player, but also seems like he's still learning the position. at power forward, chris wilcox and nick collison will share the minutes. wilcox is the superior athlete and his name appropriately rhymes with knee socks. whether he's a better player than the solid but unspectacular collison is something you should ask someone who doesn't write about ibo kutluay for paragraphs on end. also, the sonics have so many raw and unproven centers that the last season of project runway was about robert swift, johan petro, and mouhamed sene's development into startable players. thus far, heidi klum has not been impressed. finally, helping to bridge the gap from the present to the future are veterans wally szczerbiak and kurt thomas. i'm sure they'll play a fair amount of minutes this year to make david stern think the sonics haven't given up on their season yet. but as far as this season goes, it's highly unlikely that the sonics aren't lottery bound. if they show flashes of what's on the horizon and if kevin durant avoids any serious injury or incurable disease, i'd consider their season an unbridled success. although i guess if kevin durant leads the sonics to the nba championship i'm pretty sure they'd take that too. we'll call that plan b for now.

Dhivy: Kevin Durant is so good it makes me want to look both ways before crossing the street. Plenty of analysts have gone into detail about his various strengths, so there’s no need for me to reiterate them. Instead, here’s a partial list of the things that Kevin Durant has caused me to do while watching him play: scream loud enough that people outside my apartment notice, run laps around my living room, turn over my furniture, call my friends and scream at them, call my parents and scream at them, call strangers and scream at them, and research whether or not I could legally adopt an eighteen-year-old against his will. He’s had some early struggles in the pre-season and has an injury to overcome, but I’m confident that this year he will win Rookie of the Year, win the Sonics the NBA Championship, and record a grunge rock album that wins several Grammys.

The focus in Seattle is on youth, as the only players with more than 6 years of service are Kurt Thomas and Wally Szczerbiak. Their role on the roster is simply to mentor the younger players, meaning it’s their job to make sure that Damien Wilkins turns in his homework. Along with three young centers in Petro, Swift and Sene, they don’t have much in terms of talent but they do have 24 fouls. Nick Collison and Chris Wilcox provide flexibility in the frontcourt. Wilcox is an high-flyer with a scorer’s mentality while Collison focuses more on getting put backs and defending. One player rarely mentioned is point guard Luke Ridnour. While his scoring has been inconsistent, he sees the court well and minimizes turnovers. He’ll never be a spectacular player but he’s a great facilitator and should make Durant’s transition easier.

The concern I have is whether or not Jeff Green can be the player the Sonics need him to be. At Georgetown, he had a tendency to disappear in big games. This is a problem, because instead of focusing on in-game adjustments, the coaching staff was constantly looking for him under tables and behind shrubs. Whether or not he can contribute without scoring remains to be seen, and could determine how far this team goes. Oh, wait. They have Durant. The Sonics are going to kill everyone.

Achilles Heel

• Robert Swift (j)
• Robert Swift (q)
• Jeff Green (d)

Unsung Hero

• Jeff Green (j)
• Chris Wilcox (q)
• Luke Ridnour (d)

Bold Prediction

• Wally Szczerbiak demands that Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back" is played after every one of his made shots. So he can sing along "I'm Wally Szczerbiak" (j)
• The Supersonics make a machine that fuses all three of their 21-year old, 7-foot tall centers into one supercenter they name Moswiftro. Seattle wins the NBA Championship for the next five seasons partly because no one can devise a game plan to stop a 21-foot tall center. (q)
• Johan Petro and Mickael Gelabale are kicked off the team for constantly smoking cigarettes, wearing berets, and sporting pencil thin moustaches. (d)

Favorite Memory

• Luke Ridnour shoots a 12 footer from his knees after diving for a loose ball. (j)
• Gilbert Arenas makes a driving lay up off the glass at the buzzer to beat the Sonics. Then he takes his jersey off and lays it out in the middle of the court. (q)
• Ray Allen and Keyon Dooling getting into a fight during a game. Keyon Dooling is a punk. (d)