I am in a very tough situation right now. My favorite sports franchise in history was beaten by 45 points by the team I have grown to hate the most so far this year, the Celtics. It was an absolute bloodbath; a whitewashing, a steamrolling and a trouncing. I know that athletes are doing their jobs and it's about money. I always feel that fans that demand that athletes go above and beyond what is required of them need to look at their own jobs and examine whether or not they always get their reports finished before-schedule or always make sure that they change the water jug on the water cooler when it is dangerously low. But what the Knicks did last night wasn't even doing the bare minimum. The Knicks didn't take vacation or a personal day, they didn't call in sick, they didn't show up hours late, hungover and reeking of alcohol, they pulled the prototypical no-call-don't show. That is unacceptable. The performance last night prompted Kevin Garnett to insinuate that Stephon Marbury and some of the Knicks had quit. Regardless of what happens, I will never turn on the Knicks, EVER. The 15 members of the Knicks could posse up and and steal my grandmother's walking stick, or admit to purposely running over my dog when I was six years old and I would tell my grandmother to apologize to them for whatever she must have done to get the Knicks angry at her and lie and say I didnt care about that mutt Max anyway. But even with that said, I need to find a way to put the Knicks on "time-out" for a little while. After some thought I have come up with a solution that i will pitch to David Stern. that solution - relegation. Yep, the Knicks should be relegated, nope not to the NBDL but rather to the WNBA. This solution is fool proof and works on so many levels:
- Knick fans will still have access to the games and wont have to take stomach punches in the form of horrific losses in games that actually matter.
- It will facilitate rising WNBA ratings, David Stern's dream, as people will tune in to see if the Knicks can lose to the Houston Comets.
- Knick fans wont feel bad about rooting for a different, more relevant team because the Knicks arent even in the NBA anymore.
- Vicious media types can credit Isiah Thomas for the trifecta, ruining the CBA, NBA and WNBA.
- The Knicks, wandering hands and inappropriate hugs will be chalked up to good defense.
- It'll be like the classic movie Juwanna Mann, but without drag. So maybe the Knicks will learn to be a kinder, more sensitive team by the end.
To keep integrity of the NBA there will be no promotion into the league by existing WNBA teams, and the Knicks will be able to gain re-entry whenever I see fit. But for now this is the only acceptable way to ensure the Knicks can't embarrass me and everything I stand for on a national stage. I'll let you know what Commissioner Stern thinks of the idea, in the mean time I'm gonna go watch Juwanna Mann.
2 Comments:
I would argue that it wasn't the Knicks that quit, it was the Celtics. Garnett 22 minutes? Pierce and Allen were out in the middle of the 3rd quarter. That lead should have been 70 or 80 at game's end. Shame on you, Boston.
P.S: Can't it be time to fire Isiah? Or how about can Dolan fire himself? What a mess of a franchise, an embarrassment to a city that loves its basketball.
How are your Nets doing over there across the Hudson buddy? If Zeke goes then L-Frank should go too.
You seem to have a lot of opinions about my thoughts on the Knicks, but its kind of hard to take you seriously. One day you're a Knick fan, next day you're a Net fan and apparently you're starting to gas up the bus for your New England tour. I guess it's true, you're a New Yorker that loves *their* basketball.
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