Freshman Fifteen

We tried phrasing this in a way that wouldn't sound creepy, but there's no way to avoid it: we love freshmen. With graduation, early entrants and transfers, college basketball is in a constant state of flux. While the importance of veteran leadership can't be overlooked, an incoming freshman class can totally change the outlook for a team's season. So the three of us came up with an idea in which we each draft five freshmen from across the country, track their fantasy stats, and compete against each other every week. We're still working out the details (making this up as we go along) but we've laid the groundwork for a challenge we call The Freshman Fifteen. Stats are compiled from Monday to Sunday each week beginning today, and the fantasy categories are points, rebounds, assists, blocks, steals, fg%, ft% and 3-pointers made.

To fully appreciate how stupid this idea is, you have to understand how we determined the draft order. The three of us were on the phone together and we held a rock-paper-scissors tournament by yelling our choices at the same time. For some reason, this was incredibly difficult. It led to lots of confusion over when we were supposed to yell and several blatant attempts to cheat. Once it was over, Joe got to choose his draft spot first, followed by Quang and Dhivy.

Draft Results:
Michael Beasley (d)
Derrick Rose (j)
OJ Mayo (q)
Eric Gordon (q)
Johnny Flynn (j)
Kyle Singler (d)
Kevin Love (d)
Jerryd Bayless (j)
Donte Green (q)
DeAndre Jordan (q)
Patrick Patterson (j)
Nick Calathes (d)
Kosta Koufos (d)
Justin Burrell (j)
Anthony Randolph (q)

Dhivy:
Joe made an ill-advised decision and took the middle pick, while Quang foolishly selected the third pick. This gave me free run at rivals.com top freshman, Michael Beasley. His early numbers at K-State are bananas, so imagine how good he'll be once he…ripens? My only concern in making him the number one pick was how creepy this picture of him at the McDonald's All-American game was. That is by far the fattest Ronald McDonald I've ever seen. Probably because he eats so much McDonalds. Anyhoo, after Joe and Quang bumbled their picks, I quickly selected Kyle Singler and Kevin Love. Singler was the top ranked small forward out of high school, and should get plenty of open looks and steals at Duke. Love has the post moves to dominate the Pac 10 and UCLA will benefit from his defensive skills as well. This gave me a formidable front court, but I was sorely lacking in assists and was forced to reach for a guard with my next pick. I knew nothing about Nick Calathes, but based on the SportsCenter highlights I saw this morning, he's the next coming of Bobby Hurley. At least that's what I lie awake telling myself when I realize I lost out on one of the elite guards. I could've tried to find another backcourt player, but instead I solidified my stranglehold of big men by selecting Kosta Koufos from Ohio State. Quang immediately commented that my team was very white. You know what else is white? Snow. This is appropriate, because winter is coming soon and my team has prepared for the arduous months ahead. Quang and Joe on the other hand, have frittered their time away and are sure to freeze to death. On paper, my team looks like a lock to win rebounds, blocks and FG% every week. If I can get contributions elsewhere, it might be enough to prove that Joe & Quang are merely redshirts, while I am the MOP of this tournament.

Joe:
This team is not composed of the players that I typically like, there are way too many unselfish players on this squad and if this was a real team they would routinely pass away the 35 second shot clock. However there is so much talent and potential that I am beyond confident that I will win this competition easily. My first pick Derrick Rose is a player who could dominate and take over a game, but is very content to get his teammates involved, play defense and help clean up on the the glass. With Quang making a fish stick sandwich (get it... Gordon and Mayo....I'm so lame) I decided to pick up Johnny Flynn with my second pick, because i saw him drop 28 points and dish out 9 assists in his first game against Sienna. Quang scooped up two of the big men that I thought i was going to get, out of spite i picked up a THIRD awesome point guard, Jerryd Bayless who is more shoot-first than the other two guards and should be able to get me lots of points in a fast paced Arizona offense. To try and salvage my front line I was able to get Pat Patterson from Kentucky, a skilled 6'8forward who played alongside O.J. Mayo so he must be awesome. My final pick, Justin Burrell out of St. Johns is another 6'8 forward, who is strong and athletic enough to give me a presence in the rebounds and blocks categories. Yes, Burrell is only on the team because he is on St. Johns and I am a giant New York homer, but with a youth movement in Queens, Burrell should get major minutes and produce. These guys have no chance against me!

Quang:
i couldn't have constructed this team any better if i were nick nolte in blue chips. and as such, my success in this league is as assured as if i were nick nolte in blue chips. first of all, dhivy and joe foolishly let oj mayo slip to the last pick in the first round. dhivy may not be a fan of oj, but that's because "the man" has already gotten to him. i, on the other hand, have not been gotten to and therefore think oj mayo is going to have an incredible year. with my next pick it was obvious that eric gordon was the best talent left on the board so i quickly snatched him up. if we were using "controversy" as a stat category this would be a wrap. but sadly we are not. so with my 3rd and 4th round picks i selected syracuse small forward donte green and texas a&m center deandre jordan. green is tall, long, and lanky and he shoots very well while jordan is one of the dying breed of big men who actually play big. i expect them to be quite a handful for dhivy's and joe's teams. rounding out my team is lsu forward anthony randolph, who i made mr. irrelevant by selecting him with the last pick of the draft. i anticipate he's going to be the newest athletic lsu forward who doesn't do anything but dunk and block shots. these are skills that should translate very well onto my team and the system i run, specifically the "do whatever you want" system. in summary, this is a very impressive five man team. so impressive that i expect my two opponents will quit halfway through the season citing reasons like "your team makes too many threes" or "this league doesn't make any sense". regardless, not only am i certain that my team and i will win this league, i'm also certain that a nobel peace prize for basketball achievement is in our immediate future.

Whose team do you think will win? Who got the steal/bust of the draft? Go to our comments section to voice your opinion. If you take the 'pi' out of 'opinion', you get the word 'onion'.