Today's Best - 01.28.08

5. sober connecticut huskies - last night, connecticut guards jerome dyson and doug wiggins missed their second consecutive game due to a team imposed suspension after the two players were caught by campus police officers with alcohol and then caught existing for less than 21 years. yet without one of their starting guards and key back ups, uconn topped louisville 69-67, a game after a 68-63 upset victory in indiana. next up for the huskies is a couple of tough games against 21st ranked pitt and a game in syracuse. it's unclear whether dyson or wiggins will return for either game as coach calhoun has decided to suspend them indefinitely. i don't and never will understand the big deal about college athletes getting in trouble for things normal college students do all the time. if coaches want to suspend somebody they should suspend the people at college who complained about my music being too loud or the people that didn't let me copy their homework. they're the real problem.

4. where's knoblo - the feds finally got a hold of chuck knoblauch after a few days or so on the lam. no explanation was given as to why it took so long to track him down, but i assume it had something to do with knoblauch wearing a disguise composed of glasses and a red and white striped shirt. anyways, knoblauch agreed to talk to congress before the "hearing" and as a result, congress withdrew the "subpoena" it had issued last week. hearing is listed in quotes because i have no idea what upcoming hearing they're talking about, though i assume one about steroids and chuck knoblauch. likewise, subpoena is in quotes because i have no idea what it means. i assume it's the weird hat chuck knoblauch wears.

3. wake forest basketball - as luck would have it, three of the four wake forest alums in the nba were scheduled to play. josh howard led the mavericks with 26 points en route to a 103-84 win over memphis. he added six rebounds and four assists and one instance of tossing aside juan carlos navarro to catch a pass. chris paul led the hornets with 23 points and 17 assists as new orleans thumped the nuggets 117-93. paul was only one rebound away from a triple double though he was less impressively eight steals and nine blocks from a quintuple double. lastly, despite a 97-91 road loss in utah, tim duncan also played well with 26 and 11 in the spurs' first game on their annual rodeo road trip. interestingly, each of these player's teams is among the four best in the western conference. and thanks to the hornets surprising start, it looks like chris paul is not only one of the front runners for mvp of the league but also mvp of the wake forest alums. meanwhile, in our nation's capital, darius songaila is designing t-shirts that read "1st team all wake forest."

2. wake forest football - as luck would have it, two of the numerous wake forest football players on the football team are weirdos. first up is reserve running back luke caparelli, who i guess technically is now a former wake forest football player. well, like most college students, luke has a facebook page. unlike most college students, luke used his facebook page as a forum to explain that he would "blow up campus" and had a uzi "locked and loaded in his bag." not to be outdone, according to fanhouse, wake's quarterback riley skinner took pictures of himself posing naked. well i assume he took these pictures himself because i can't imagine him asking a friend to take them for him. anyways, unsurprisingly these pictures were made public and now as of yesterday afternoon, every wake forest student has transferred to another school. meanwhile, in our nation's capital, darius songaila is designing t-shirts that read "my school's football team is weird and all i got was this lousy t-shirt."

1. the point guard market - with the news that jason kidd's agent has contacted the nets asking for him to be traded and damon stoudamire's pending buyout from the grizzlies, it seems there is a surplus of point guards looking for new teams. and this is without considering gary payton, who has been rumored to a number of teams, mike bibby, who has been attracting various suitors, and chris paul, who i want traded to the wizards right now. anyways, simply because there are so many available point guards, it seems very likely that at least one will make a significant contribution in the postseason. if i had to make an educated and obvious guess as to who will make the biggest difference, i'd have to say jason kidd. however, if i had to make a ridiculous guess as to who will make the biggest difference, i'd have to say no one after the grizzlies somehow trade for both kidd and bibby, sign gary payton, and then sign damon stoudamire immediately after buying him out.