5. early detection - yesterday, news surfaced that the tumor removed from nene's testicle about a week ago was malignant. thankfully, it was detected by doctors very early on and nene is expected to make a full recovery. but since cancer is a subject i don't joke about, here's another subject that i do: chuck knoblauch. way to get subpoenaed, you idiot.
4. the nets stink - the nets were so bad yesterday that i'm not even going to come up with a different title for this entry. and maybe this is a knee jerk reaction but i think it's pretty apparent that the kidd, carter, jefferson trio is not going to work. last night, they lost 128-94 to the kings. they've now now lost their last six games, a span in which they've been outscored by an average of 18.7 points. and despite this, new jersey is only a half game behind the pacers for the eighth playoff spot. if this were a movie, it would be "alien versus predator" because "whoever wins, we lose".
3. tony romo's back - jerry jones confirmed yesterday that he plans on exercising a roster bonus that assures terrell owens will return for another year with the cowboys. interestingly during the press conference jones choked back tears and told reporters that blaming this news on tony romo's vacation "is really unfair... that's my teammate... that's my wide receiver..." well, that was my lame attempt of humor at t.o.'s expense. truthfully, i'm in no position to make fun of someone who cares so passionately about something that they're brought to tears. especially considering that t.o. now has 3 million reasons to be alive while i only have like the minimum reasons to liver per hour.2. centers named o'neal - with jermaine o'neal already out indefinitely with a knee injury, the o'neal clan was dealt another blow after news that shaq will miss the next two weeks with a nagging hip injury. on the bright side, the pacers have played well in jermaine's absence so far this year and even though the heat are 0-8 without shaq, they're only 8-24 with him. this not only means that they'll get fat sums of money to sit on their team's bench, their teams won't even miss them while they're gone. but if miami and indiana are looking for more people who will accept money to not ruin their team, please let them know that i am also available. and for the low price of $100 a game i'll refrain from pouring buckets of gatorade on coach riley during timeouts and spilling mustard all over the court among other conduct detrimental to the team.
1. grant hill - grant hill returned to the suns last night for the first game since his appendectomy and led them to a 114-105 against milwaukee. sure steve nash had a season-high 37 points and amare shot 75 percent from the field, but they did so with appendices. grant hill meanwhile had a points per appendix average that was off the charts. anyways, the suns' latest victory makes them the first western conference team to reach 30 wins. though whether they can duplicate this success in the playoffs when the games slow down and their opponents have more appendices to throw at them remains to be seen.
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