Bulls-Heat, Bull sHeat

if you're in the mood to watch

then it's your lucky day. because tonight's only nationally televised nba game is the barn-burner that is the chicago bulls visiting the miami heat. while many of you will scoff at the idea of watching a game between two dreadfully disappointing teams that have lost 50 combined games so far this season, i too will scoff. watching miami try to avoid losing their 11th consecutive game against the uninspired bulls does not sound very appealing and i'm sure most people would agree. anyways because of that, and since these seem to be all the rage nowadays, i've decided to a live-blog of tonight's bulls-heat game before it happens so that we won't have to watch it later.

1st quarter:

12:00 - the heat are starting dwyane wade, jason williams, ricky davis, udonis haslem, and shaq, who is returning from injury and has missed the last eight games. the bulls are starting luol deng, chris duhon, joe smith, ben wallace, and thabo sefolosha, who is starting for the second consecutive night for a hurt hinrich.

11:58 - the tip is controlled by the bulls. the bulls decide they can't keep pace in an high scoring game and hold the ball for the final shot.

11:34 - 24-second violation on the bulls.

11:15 - dwyane wade drives past chris duhon for an easy lay up. of course an easy lay up for dwyane wade involves him tumbling in the air and tossing it up towards the rim. heat take their first lead of the season.

9:04 - the bulls and heat trade turnovers for a couple of minutes. highlights include a ben wallace pass that is intercepted by daequan cook, who was sitting comfortably on the heat bench, and a jason williams backcourt violation that occurred when he forgot which basket was his.

8:24 - shaq scores his first points of the new year on either an alley oop dunk from a ricky davis pass or a put back dunk off of a ricky davis shot.

7:55 - after a shot by chris duhon, the bulls are finally on the scoreboard. "heat - 4, bulls - 0" the scoreboard reads.

7:03 - luol deng wobbles his way into the lane and drains a contested jumper for the bulls first points.

7:02 - the heat call a timeout to stop the bulls momentum. mark blount, chris quinn, and dorell wright come into the game for the miami.

6:48 - playing 8-on-5, the heat score easily on a udonis haslem baseline jumper and push their lead to 4.

6:43 - the refs finally realize the heat are playing with too many players when luol deng is triple teamed twice. a technical foul is assessed to miami, but the previous basket is allowed because the scorekeeper complains that it'd take forever to fix. ben wallace misses the technical free throw.

6:42 - bulls coach jim boylan yanks ben wallace for taking a technical free throw and lets ben gordon into the game.

5:07 - ben gordon makes a long three but his foot was on the line, specifically the baseline on the other side of the court. out of bounds, miami ball.

4:31 - shaq plows through joe smith, but since joe smith's feet were in the restricted circle he is called for a block. the call is indisputable since joe smith's feet are still there even though the rest of his body was detached and fell into the stands.

3:14 - thabo sefolosha's defense on dwyane wade leads to a turnover. the bulls capitalize with an easy lay up following four consecutive easy lay up misses.

2:05 - tyrus thomas blocks chris quinn's three point attempt into the other basket for three points. the bulls take a 7-6 lead.

1:44 - dwyane wade responds with a long jumper that gives the heat the lead back.

1:36 - the bulls fire up a quick three that misses in the hopes of getting a three-for-two opportunity.

1:28 - the heat fire up a quick three that misses in the hopes of getting a three-for-two opportunity.

0:00 - for the last minute and a half, the heat and bulls have traded quick threes such that it has become a seven-for-six situation. no baskets are made within this time and the quarter ends with the heat clinging to a 7-6 lead.


2nd quarter:

11:44 - joakim noah makes his first appearance in the game and immediately blocks a dwyane wade shot. unfortunately, he is whistled for a lane violation since dwyane wade was shooting a free throw. wade sinks both and extends the heat lead to three.

10:03 - shaq picks up fouls on three consecutive possessions, two offensive fouls and another shooting foul and sits down for the rest of the first half.

10:02 - refs ask shaq stop sitting in the middle of the court while the game is going on. shaq reluctantly moves to the heat bench.

9:45 - looking to get ricky davis more involved, dwyane wade tosses him a pass.

9:24 - ricky davis is fouled hard by joe smith after shooting on his own basket in an effort to pad his stats.

9:18 - ben gordon ties the game at nine with a desperation three as the shot clock was expiring. the heat call a timeout during which coach boylan tells ben that there were 19 seconds left in the shot clock. gordon responds, "technically the shot clock is always expiring."

9:18 - the heat draw up a play after the timeout. dorrell wright forgets that the first part of the play is to inbound ball and the heat are called for a five-second violation.

8:57 - luol deng makes a jumpshot from the wing but the basket is waved off after mark blount throws it back through the rim. deng complains to the refs, "that's not a rule, you idiots".

8:50 - the refs realize that deng is right and allow the previous basket. the scorekeeper is visibly frustrated. bulls lead 11-9.

8:14 - dwyane wade drives past chris duhon for another easy score and ties the game. chris duhon sucks.

8:10 - chris duhon continues to suck.

7:46 - ben gordon dribbles around the perimeter and forces a pass that wade picks off and takes it coast to coast for a dunk.

7:22 - dwyane wade steals the inbounds pass and takes it coast to coast before realizing he was already on the correct coast. he returns and makes a wild lay up.

6:57 - ben wallace goes up for a basket and is fouled hard by chris quinn. wallace shoves chris quinn and more shoving between the teams ensues. chris quinn lays on the scorer's table to avoid further involvement and is hit with a beer thrown from the stands.

6:54 - because the refs want this game to end, the clock continues to run.

6:51 - chris quinn enters the stands and approaches the person who he thinks threw the beer.

6:43 - chris quinn gets beat up by a heat fan in eight seconds.

6:30 - play finally resumes and jason williams gives the heat their biggest lead of the game thanks to a pass that is deflected into the basket. it's heat 17, bulls 11 halfway through the third.

5:12 - the bulls tie the game at 17 thanks to consecutive threes by ben gordon.

4:58 - chris duhon sucks again.

4:22 - daequan cook enters the game and drills a short jumper. then he gets a technical foul for hanging on the rim. luol deng hits the free throw. heat 18, bulls 17.

3:57 - chicago's aaron gray acquires a t-shirt cannon and fires numerous t-shirts at players on the court. a security guard in the rafters with a t-shirt sniper rifle picks him off and ends the threat.

3:48 - david stern calls and tells everyone that this will be the last quarter of the game. i'm thankful because i've run out of things to say.

3:30 - udonis haslem misses a point blank shot and throws his mouthpiece in disgust. then he picks up his mouthpiece and returns it to his mouth which disgusts everyone else.

3:00 - a siren goes off a second ball is thrown on the court. both balls will stay in play until one is lost out of bounds.

2:57 - multiball ends when mark blount dribbles the ball out of bounds off of his feet. fans begin to file out of the stadium.

2:53 - fans rush back to their seats as the jumbotron begins an emergency kiss cam segment. the heat extend their lead to three on a luke jackson lay up because all bulls players are waiting to see who gets kissed next.

2:01 - the kiss cam ends and the bulls' attention returns to the game where the heat have scored six unanswered points. it's heat heat 24, bulls 17.

1:12 - the bulls cap a furious rally with a joe smith dunk. heat 24, bulls 19. "that wasn't very furious at all," mike tirico observes.

0:49 - the heat milk the clock and ultimately miss an opportunity to seal the game, ben wallace rebounds and pushes the ball up to chris duhon who shoots a three from the corner. the shot sails way over the basket, where sefolosha catches it on the other corner and hits a three. the bulls are down by only two.

0:21 - dwyane wade misses a floater in the lane. the bulls collect the rebound and call timeout to set up their final play.

0:08 - ben gordon drives into the lane and misses a floater from inside the free throw line. thankfully, ben wallace is there and tips back in the miss. the bulls tie the game. at least they would have had that tip not taken them back down to 13, as per the rules of 21.

0:06 - the heat salt away the game with free throws while the heat bench start chanting about "15 strong".

0:01 - with one second remaining, dwyane wade opts out of his contract.

0:00 - the horn sounds and the game ends miami 26, chicago 13. but the refs confer and decide that no one deserves to win this game and both teams are awarded losses.