New Rule: No Old Rookies Allowed

the nba announced the rosters for the annual all star weekend rookie-sophomore challenge today and i for one am very displeased. sure the sophomore team shaped up pretty well, but that's mainly because rudy gay is involved. which, by default, means i'm throwing a slice of pizza at my wall whenever he does anything. the rookie team however, is very lacking. emphasis on "very". also emphasis on "lacking". and although i didn't even say it, emphasis on "horrible" too.

obviously, my main gripe is that despite being 2nd among rookies in points per 48 minutes, nick young was not asked to participate. in fact, none of the wizards three hilarious rookies were. uh nba, dominic mcguire grabbed 10 rebounds last night and six were offensive and pecherov shoots threes all the time! when i see an exhibition game i want chuckers, dunkers, and rebounders. yet curiously, three of the best rookie chuckers, dunkers, and rebounders will watch this game from home. actually, they probably have no interest watching a rookie team that they should have been on get bum rushed so they'll probably watch something else from home during the game. if they're lucky, "demolition man" will be on.

anyways, these are not the only rookies that should be disappointed over getting snubbed. thaddeus young, jason smith, daequan cook, glen davis, and joakim noah "bilities" are all uninvited. and who do we have to blame for this? old rookies. without a doubt this is the oldest rookie team of all time. in fact, the rookie team is actually older than their sophomore opponents. it's literally the oldest thing i've ever seen. jamario moon, luis scola, and juan carlos navarro are all 27 years old. and if that weren't enough, juan carlos navarro and jamario carlos moon share the same birthday. shouldn't we let let some other days of birth in? and this is without even considering that yi jianlian and my dad share the same haircut and probably the same birthday. there have been persistent rumors by some sources that not only claim yi is as old as 26, but that yi grounded me several times for missing curfew when i was in middle school. instead of a fold up chairs, i hope the rookies' bench is just a bunch of plastic covered couches.

so why do these generation w-ers get the nod over the league's younger stars? because they've played better? they're like seven years older than their peers, of course they've played better! what's worse, they're old and they're role players, which isn't exactly a recipe for must see tv. seriously, luis scola is just going to spend the entire game setting screens and playing good help defense, jesus christ navarro is going to try to improve the team's spacing, and jamario moon is going to tap rebounds out to get the rookies additional possessions. unfortunately, these additional possessions will be spent tripping over their walkers, trash talking the sophomores about how much more expensive stamps are today, eating dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon, and dribbling the ball off their liver spots.

don't get me wrong, i like all three 27-year olds, even luis scola surprisingly. but they are too old to be in a rookie-sophomore challenge. this is supposed to be a display of up and coming talent, not an overly competitive game featuring talent that has already blossomed. besides, jamario moon is in the dunk contest, navarro could be in the three point contest, and rudy gay already stamped spalding on luis scola's and yi jianlian's face earlier this season, so it's not like any of them are hard up for exposure. so hopefully these guys come to their senses and realize that maybe it's time they quit hanging around high schools trying to pick up jv cheerleaders and just grew up. they can start by sitting out this game so nick young can play.