Today's Best - 01.10.08

5. real billikens - i assume that an actual billiken, whatever it is, had a better day than its saint louis counterpart. because last night, the rick majerus led saint louis billikens scored 20 total points, setting a division i record for futility while losing to george washington by 29. they shot 14.6 percent from the field including 5.3 percent from three, seven players had as many fouls as points and the billikens leading scorer was bryce husak, a 7-footer who poured in five points. after the game, the team headed back to st louis discouraged. not surprisingly, nine players and three assistant coaches missed the flight.

4. memphis grizzlies for 47:53 - if only last night's memphis-sacramento game started seven seconds earlier, the grizzlies would have walked out with their fifth road win of the season. instead, francisco garcia hit a corner three with seven seconds to go and put the kings up one. this has pretty much been the norm for the grizzlies who have lost several games in the final seconds. against portland, travis outlaw banked in a runner at the buzzer for a one point blazers win. in a game early in the season against new orleans, david west hit a jumper with 8.3 seconds in overtime that gave the hornets their two point margin of victory. in another game against new orleans, chris paul converted a layup with 1.6 seconds left in overtime that also won the game. and if that weren't enough, against the sixers, andre iguodala hit a long jumper at the buzzer to win it. with this latest heartbreaker, the grizzlies fall to 1-8 in games decided by 3 points or less. no other team has lost more than five games by 3 points or less. on the bright side, no other team has rudy gay either.

3. the man - while on the subject of rudy gay, it sure seems like the associated press is trying to pull a fast one on us. in the game recap this is how they described the deciding play of the game:

"Down 113-111, Salmons was in trouble and almost lost the ball near the top of the circle. But he found Garcia open on the baseline and the result was a 3-pointer over the outstretched hand of defender Rudy Gay with 7.9 seconds left that put the Kings ahead for the first time since late in the second quarter."

i watched the game and i know for sure the outstretched hand that contested francisco garcia's three was not rudy gay's but actually of mike miller, who is curiously a white male. what a convenient error this was. next game, i hope mike miller and rudy gay both get steals so i can read about how mike miller found the ball while rudy gay looted the other team.

2. the western conference pack - with both the spurs and suns losing last night, it's beginning harder to tell apart the western conference elite from the rest of the bunch. the suns, mavs, and spurs are all widely accepted as the three best teams in the conference but the lakers, blazers, hornets, and nuggets are all within three games from the top seed. further, the top 10 teams in the west are currently only separated by six games. compare this to the east where the third best team is eight games worse than the best team while the 10th best team is seven games behind the third. what does this mean? it means that while these western conference teams are fighting tooth and nail, the wizards are currently the fourth seed despite not having beat a team with a winning record since december 1st.

1. mount everest - sir edmund hillary, who was the first person to climb mount everest, passed away yesterday at the age of 88. so it seems as though hillary may have won the initial battle in 1953, mt everest has won the war. anyways, i admittedly don't know much about outdoorsy sports or even if if mountain climbing is considered a sport. but if it's anything like climibing the aggro crag from nickelodeon guts, i'm very impressed that hillary reached the peak of mount everest. i can't imagine how difficult it must have been to climb almost 30,000 feet while not only having to avoid all that confetti but remembering to hit each and every actuator on the way up. but i'm sure if you asked sir edmund hillary, he'd tell you that enduring these obstacles was worth it if only to make reaching the summit that much sweeter. also making reaching the summit sweeter: getting an actual piece of the aggro crag from mike o'malley once you finish.