Season Preview: Memphis Grizzlies

Dhivy: Everyone keeps telling the world that Darko Milicic is ready to go off. I’ve been hearing since his days with the Pistons that he is impossible to guard and that he is a monster on defense. Unfortunately for the Grizzlies, Darko is very possible to guard and is at best a friendly ghost on defense. His numbers improved with more minutes in Orlando, but on the other hand, my numbers would improve with more minutes in Orlando. And by ‘numbers’, I mean the number of times the ball is stolen from me and the number of times the crowd throws things at me.

Pau Gasol has long been the talk of trade rumors, but the Grizzlies would be best served by keeping him. Combined with Hakim Warrick on the front line, they’ll create an aggressive, athletic twosome that could defend the rim well. They also have two great shooters in Mike Miller and Casey Jacobsen. While both are very one-dimensional players, the speed and quickness on the rest of the roster will create plenty of open shots. Tarence Kinsey was a great late-season surprise and we all know how much fun Rudy Gay is to watch. The Grizzlies should have the PA system play a sound effect that says “that’s so gay!” every time Rudy does something awesome during a game. Like the time he jumped over fifteen school buses while dunking.

While he is the team captain, Damon Stoudamire might be the third best point guard on the roster. Kyle Lowry and Mike Conley are both extremely quick and can get to the rim with ease. Thanks to the rule changes against hand checking, players like this are incredibly tough to defend. While there is no go-to-guy on this team, they have solid depth and should benefit from the leadership and tenacity of Gasol. Look for the Grizzlies’ new head coach Marc Iavaroni to run and create a style of play similar to that of the Suns. I see this team fighting for a playoff spot and taking a lot of people by surprise. And if they suck, at least I took a chance.

Joe: I cant stand the damn Memphis Grizzlies. Me and one of my roommates in college used to make it a point to play as much NBA Live 05' against each other as we could without failing out of school. As it became more competitive, absurd wagers were made that for some reason had the loser trek to McDonalds to purchase an obscene number of apple pies. Well, at one point he became particularly fond of using the Memphis Grizzlies - and for some god-forsaken reason he could not be beat with that team! To this day I believe he used some kind of a cheat code because when he picked Memphis, Shane Battier became the best basketball player to ever play the game, repeatedly compiling quadruple doubles and prompting my roommate to refer to him as "Sugar Shane". Bonzi Wells was unable to miss any shot from beyond the three point line, and Lorenzen Wright morphed into Tim Duncan. No matter what team I picked I had no answer for the god-damn Memphis Grizzlies. I cant think of the Grizzlies without thinking of getting my ass handed to me by Mike Miller followed by my car smelling like McDonalds apple pies. I guess there could be worse things than that last part however.

With that said,the Grizzlies as currently constituted is a much different and is absolutely a formidable team in the NBA. The team remains centered around Pau Gasol, a bonafide star in the league coming back from injury and one of the first foreign players to play in the post with a mean-streak and without the flopping and general softness. Moreover, just watching Rudy Gay's raw ability on the court should make the seven executives that passed up on him cringe. I see a very Tracy McGrady like career for him based on his silky smooth, effortless game. On the other wing is Mike Miller who at his height can get any shot he wants and usually hits them. Continuing down the roster there is tons of young talent including the college phenom point guard Mike Conley and another foreigner that is building up a mean-streak of his own in Darko Milicic, who is finally playing with a chip on his shoulder and proved in Orlando that when motivated he can be a genuine force down low.

Aside from the Gasol injury last year I believe the Grizzlies were seriously hurt by the injury to their other rookie, Kyle Lowry. Lowry is always the most active player on the court, hes a menace on defense and although he has plenty of room to grow offensively, hes the type of player that will hustle his way to 15 points primarily on fast-breaks and free throws. Additionally he takes care of the ball well and is an above average passer so hes definitely invaluable on the floor. Factoring his ultra competitive nature, he will make sure he does all the little things to win out the battle between Conley and himself.

Quang: during the 2006 offseason, memphis traded shane battier to the rockets for the draft rights of rudy gay. before you read any further, let me explain that rudy gay is probably my favorite person who plays basketball and among my top 10 favorite people who have ever seen a basketball. it's hard to pinpoint exactly why i like him so much, but i think it has something to do with the fact that one time in college he beat god in a slam dunk contest. anyways, no sooner than one second after rudy gay was drafted did i consider the pros and cons of buying a jersey that read "gay" on the back. pro: rudy gay is the greatest. con: rudy gay's biggest fan is flat broke. well i never ended up getting the jersey but i found other ways to support him. like attending a random celebration of rudy gay they had in the city that appropriately called the annual gay pride parade. it was nice to see that there were so many other people like me who really support rudy gay and his rights. i thought it was pretty enjoyable until this really angry guy got in my face. we had a very heated argument that, if i remember correctly, essentially boiled down to him telling me that because he doesn't flaunt how much he doesn't like rudy gay, i shouldn't flaunt how much i do like rudy gay. i told him that "i'm here. i'm a rudy gay fan. get used to it!" and walked off. it was an interesting day to say the least.

well, that was probably the strangest paragraph you'll read today and possibly over the next couple weeks, but it doesn't change the fact that rudy gay is so awesome i can barely move. consider this, before rudy gay arrived in memphis, the grizzlies had been swept in the first round of the playoffs three straight years. rudy gay managed to end this streak before it reached a fourth consecutive year in his inaugural season. coincidence? hardly. which makes it even more baffling that he finished behind brandon roy and andrea bargnani in the rookie of the year race. brandon roy won it simply because the headlines wrote themselves, ("roy wins r.o.y." or "brandon r.o.y.") easing the workload for those lazy sportswriters. similarly, andrea bargnani finished second because he was the first overall pick and also because the headlines wrote themselves ("bargnani finishes second" or "andrea bargnani runner up to brandon r.o.y."). uh, sportswriters, rudy gay played 78 games last year. brandon roy played 57 and bargnani played 65. doesn't every game count? or just the ones that roy and bargnani play in. plus, if brandon roy was so good, why did his team end up with the first overall pick? if bargnani was the second best rookie, why'd his team finish third in the conference? what a travesty. rudy gay better win rookie of the year this year or these voters will have some questions to answer. from me. about rudy gay. and whether they can get him to sign a jersey for me.

regarding the grizzlies chances this year, i actually think they will be in the playoff hunt. pau gasol was hurt to start last year, which is what some people will tell you was the real reason memphis didn't get swept in the first round. but he's still good, even though he oddly suggested he wanted to be traded during the grizzlies first bad season in recent memory, which was mainly bad because he hurt himself playing for another team. but to appease him they traded for juan carlos navarro, his teammate from spain. this should help pau continue to eat pieces of paella for breakfast, and then use that energy from the paella to play efficient basketball. further, mike miller, despite his subpar showing at the fiba tournament this summer, is very underrated. perhaps he'll never become a star, but he'll definitely always be an effective player. the grizzlies also have two promising point guards in mike conley and kyle lowry who should be great fits in iavaroni's offense. hakim warrick has shown great development so far and darko milicic is 7-feet tall which is more than someone who is 6-feet tall can say. the grizzlies also can call on tarence kinsey, who looks like a gem, and casey jacobsen, who i'm only mentioning because in his last nba season he played 84 games. finally, the only player i haven't yet mentioned on the grizzlies who i think will make a significant impact is its starting small forward, rudy gay. rudy gay is going to become the next murphy timmons, a fictional person i just made up because rudy gay has no real contemporaries. to summarize, rudy gay is going to lead the grizzlies into the playoffs and is going to throw down at least thirty different dunks that make me scream until my neighbors start a petition.

Achilles Heel

• Darko Milicic (d)
• Damon Stoudamire (j)
• Stromile Swift (q)

Unsung Hero

• Hakim Warrick (d)
• Kyle Lowry (j)
• Juan Carlos Navarro (q)

Bold Prediction

• Damon Stoudamire’s legal troubles continue when he tries to hide his weed from airport security by placing it in a big pile of plutonium. (d)
• Darko and Pau torture so many people in the paint they rename the key in Memphis "Hostel". (j)
• Contrary to public thought, Pau Gasol reveals that he hasn't been growing a neck beard. In fact, a neck beard has been growing Pau Gasol. (q)

Favorite Moment

• Rudy Gay dunking on Yi Jianlian in the Summer League and reminding us all that Communism doesn’t work. (d)
• Rudy Gay has three offensive dunks in one game against the reigning MVP Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns. Steve Nash is a fraud. (j)
• In a game against the Rockets, Rudy Gay blocks a three attempt by Vassilis Spanoulis, retrieves the ball, and runs down the court and dunks it as Spanoulis stumbles around closely behind. I hate Spanoulis. (q)