Season Preview: Cleveland Cavaliers

Joe: Lebron James is an enabler. And it has gone on for way to long. I'm watching the footage of the Cavaliers trip to Shanghai to play their exhibition against the Magic. Lebron James is in the back of the team bus and in trying to contemplate the time difference is asking Drew Gooden questions about the implications of missing a birthday due to the to the time change, or possibly celebrating it twice if you flew the other direction. I'm sitting there trying to revel in the greatness that is Lebron James's deepness - but I am distracted by the king of all losers, Damon Jones sitting right next to him. WHY DOES LEBRON ALLOW THIS?!? Doesn't he not know that the more he hangs out with Damon Jones, the more it enables Cleveland management to infer that Lebron James enjoys being on a team full of losers. I bet you Damon Jones had something to do with Lebron's terrible decision to wear a Yankees hat to game 1 of the ALDS at Jacobs Field (wrong for so many reasons). Damon Jones is ruining Lebron James' life in more ways than we know, I used to blame it on Damon Jones, but more and more I realize it's really Lebron's fault.

Anyway besides Lebron James this team is the absolute pits. And really, there is nothing wrong with that because one Lebron James is all you need to make the playoffs. What would be nice is if Larry Hughes would step up and be the Pippen to Lebron's Jordan - but I've been wishing this for two years now and Larry keeps finding different ways to disappoint me (Does anybody remember his "Flight Brothers" days in Philadelphia with A.I. ... soooo much promise!). Daniel Gibson showed some definite signs of being legitimate in the postseason last year, but he is still more of a shooting guard than a pure point, which means that Lebron James will still have to handle those duties more often than should be expected of him. Mike Brown can't expect his superstar meal-ticket to be more unselfish when he needs him to run the point.

Quang: after last year's finals in which the cavs were swept, everyone stood patiently in line to take turns bashing them. "the worst team that ever made the finals!", people screamed. "cleveland is terrible, the east is up for grabs!", other people added. "eat your vegetables!", my mom reminded me. well, it's almost six months later and two things are true. one, for the 06-07 season, the cavs were the best team in the east, and two, i'm a grown man, you can't tell me what to do any more, mom. from what i gathered, there was too much energy spent lambasting those horrifically inept cavaliers whose names did not rhyme with voltron frames and not enough enegry spent celebrating how well voltron frames had to play in order to get his horrifically inept teammates to the finals. it was nothing short of spectacular watching polygon dames practically will his team to victory throughout the playoffs. though, i'm not ready to say that mastadon flames wanted it more than his opponents, especially since his team got swept in the finals and also because i'm pretty sure both teams played hard my man, both teams played hard, his performance was impressive nonetheless. so with an extended playoff run under his belt, this season, taiwan claims and the cavs enter this season hoping to prove last year's success was no fluke. in case you were interested, here are the other lebron james rhymes i came up with: withdrawn names, foregone lames, respawn games, and crayon shames.

lebron enters this season with questions surrounding several key contributors, namely, anderson varejao, sasha pavlovic, and damon jones. the fact that was a list of cleveland's key contributors is further proof of how good lebron james is. varejao and pavlovic are restricted free agents who are threatening to play in europe, while damon jones thinks his talents would be of more use elsewhere. if we're being honest, i don't like any of these three players. so if i were danny ferry i'd tell varejao, pavlovic, and damon jones, "good riddance" in portugese, serbian, and dumbass, respectively. pavlovic is garbage, damon jones is a travesty wrapped in another travesty who is unable to guard an orange traffic cone, and anderson varejao is my least favorite person who lives on planet earth. besides, shannon brown is already better than pavlovic and also meets the cavs apparent requirement to hire someone with a girl's name, damon jones' production could be easily replaced by daniel gibson, or if gibson needs a breather, an orange traffic cone, and half of varejao's minutes are spent sprawled out on the court after attempting to take charges from players shorter than 6 feet tall.

in regards to the cavs who actually want to play with lebron, for the most part, they seem like capable players. zydrunas ilgauskas is on the down slope of his career, but still a better than average center. drew gooden is pretty much just asked to dunk and rebound though he manages to fit in a few ill-advised jumpers here and there. devin brown was recently signed and should immediately jump into the rotation simply because he's not ira newble. however, i think the non-lebron player that that the cavs' success hinges most on is larry hughes. he's one of my favorites and one of the players i root hardest for. during his tenure with the club, in addition to being miscast as a jump shooter, he's dealt with injuries, the tragic death of his younger brother, and most recently his wife's brain aneurysm. those things notwithstanding, i'm hoping that, mike brown finds a way to get him more involved not only because the rest of the league is quickly forgetting how good he actually is but also because i think he could be a good compliment to lebron. to summarize, at first glance, the cavs didn't appear to improve their team much, if at all, making a repeat of last year's success difficult in a stronger eastern conference. but, we, well i, may be overlooking the fact that although the team itself didn't improve much, lebron james will.

Dhivy: Is there any team in the league with a bigger discrepancy between its best and second-best player? Do the Cavaliers even have a second best player? Last season, I watched Lebron James play with 11 people tied for worst player in the NBA. As long as they have Lebron the Cavaliers are playoff bound, but I’m sure the front office is worried about an off-season that included co-hosting the ESPYs, hosting SNL, and laser-eye surgery. It’s important to note that this was not done to correct his vision; rather it allows Lebron to shoot laser beams from his eyes.

A potential star on the Cavaliers roster is Daniel Gibson. He had a great run in the postseason, and he figures to get many of the same open looks this year. The Cavaliers need to find a second shooter to space the floor for Lebron if they expect their offense to improve. My hope is that Shannon Brown can be that player. While he is more of a slasher than a spot up shooter, his presence opens up the possibility of alley-oops and put back dunks. And the last time I checked, that’s what wins championships.

In the off-season, former Dukie and current Cavaliers GM Danny Ferry’s office was painted with a UNC logo. Rather than laugh it off as a harmless prank, he said “I have no sense of humor when it comes to that”. What a Debbie Downer. If he took his job as seriously as he does his school rivalries, the Cavaliers might actually have a shot at defending the Eastern Conference title. Their salary cap situation makes it nearly impossible to import an impact player, so while other teams have the potential to upgrade their team during the season, Cleveland will be hard-pressed to do so.

Oh, and Damon Jones is the Devil.

Achilles Heel

• Zydrunas Ilgauskas (Damon Jones is the obvious choice but, it's way too easy) (j)
• Eric Snow (q)
• Anderson Varejao (assuming he re-signs) (d)

Unsung Hero

• Drew Gooden (j)
• Shannon Brown (q)
• Daniel Gibson (d)

Bold Prediction

• Larry Hughes helps instead of hinders the team.
• Lebron James averages both a triple-double and double-triple for the season on the strength of 120 points, 15 rebounds, and 107 assists per game.
• Due to basketballs recklessly ricocheting in every possible direction, OSHA classifies Quicken Loans Arena as a hazardous workplace.

Favorite Memory

• An easy alley-oop is thrown to Anderson Varejo, Lebron James comes streaking down the sideline catches the ball over Varaejo and throws down a vicious dunk on his own teammate.
• During the trophy presentation ceremony after winning the East, all the Cavs start yelling "awwwwwww.... yeaaaaah!" on the dais for no apparent reason.
• Lebron’s posterization of Tim Duncan. Take that, Virgin Islands.