Today's Best - 12.16.07

5. boston celtics - coming into the season, the biggest question surrounding the celtics was whether or not they were deep enough to overcome an injury to their big three. this weekend, ray allen missed both games with a calf injury which gave us a chance to see how they would respond in this situation. the celtics responsed by beating the bucks by 22 and then the raptors by 13 as tony allen tried to convince garnett and pierce that the three of them should start a new big three. these two wins certainly don't prove boston is deep enough to withstand an extended injury, but celtics fans should be comforted by these blowout wins nonetheless. boston now sits at 20-2 and probably have accrued more wins in 22 games than kevin garnett's old team will accrue in 82 games. anyways, next up for boston are the detroit pistons in a game that pits the two best eastern conference teams against one another to determine once and for all whether a big three is greater than a big four. number lines worldwide are holding their breath.

4. arizona d-backs - the diamondbacks had a busy weekend in which they made two major trades. in the first one, arizona sent a laundry list of prospects to oakland for dan haren. haren was one of the better pitchers in the american league last year and his addition gives the diamondbacks a very potent duo between he and brandon webb. next, the diamondbacks traded their closer jose valverde to houston for chad qualls and the underachieving chris burke. jose valverde saved 47 games in exciting and demonstrative fashion last year and was part of a strong bullpen that helped arizona make the playoffs despite being outscored. both these moves seem to improve arizona's chances at repeating as division champs. until you remember that a few weeks ago they traded carlos quentin to the white sox. good luck having dan haren and chad qualls replace the 50 home runs carlos quentin hits this april. why am i so excited about carlos quentin? i barely know what he looks like.

3. people whose pants are not on fire - this weekend andy pettitte admitted using human growth hormone in 2002 to recover from an elbow injury. andy pettitte coming clean means two things. first, the mitchell report, which some people had claimed lacked merit, gains a little more credence. and secondly, doubts are raised about roger clemens' denial of the extensive performance enhancing history documented in the same report. not to be outdone, keon clark, ex-toronto raptor, had a 2 and a half year prison sentence thrown out and told a vermilion county circuit court that he "never played a game sober". he admitted he was an alcoholic and drank a half pint ot a pint of gin daily while playing pro basketball and even drank at halftime while in the nba. i don't see what the big deal is, thousands of people drink during halftime of nba games. if keon clark had fired t-shirt cannons and tried to get on the kiss cam during stoppages in play i would have been more concerned. but more seriously, hopefully keon clark seeks the help he needs and can successfully overcome his alcoholism. and as part of the twelve step program, hopefully he apologizes to shawn bradley for this. aside: why is shawn bradley always letting the gravity get sucked right out of the building? it's about time shawn bradley admits he sucks.

2. fred couples - this weekend, tiger woods returned to golf after a 4-month layoff to win the target world challenge. in doing so, he received a $1.35 million check that goes to his tiger woods learning center. considering this is the 4th time tiger woods has won this event, i imagine the children at the tiger woods learning center all take classes about time travel and go on field trips to the moon. anyways, since woods won by 7 strokes the next most interesting story was concerning rory sabbatini who was heading into the final round in last place and mysteriously withdrew citing "personal reasons" and "shin splints". when asked to comment, fred couples was quoted as saying, "of course he did. and roger clemens' agent said he didn't do steroids." i can't express how happy i am that it's gotten to point where golfers make fun of roger clemens. hopefully next week poker players and bowlers will add their two cents.

1. portland trailblazers - the trailblazers won their 7th straight game after beating utah for the second time in four days on friday and then beating the nuggets in denver last night. last night's win was especially impressive because it was the 2nd consecutive night where the recap on espn's nba scoreboard included the phrase "despite a.i.'s [point total]" regarding a denver loss i.e. "blazers knock off nuggets despite a.i.'s 38 points" and "spurs prevail despite a.i.'s 30; duncan back". hopefully, this trend continues and the next few nuggets game recaps are titled things like "despite a.i.'s 75 points, rockets win", "despite a.i.'s new robotic arm, kings prevail", or "despite a.i.'s pizza bagel pre-game meal, he throws up on the court and denver loses by 45." back to the topic at hand, portland has won seven straight and the last four without lamarcus aldridge. during this stretch, brandon roy has been playing exceptionally well, averaging 24.1 points, 5.7 rebounds, 6.7 assists per game while shooting 49.6 percent from the field. frighteningly for blazer opponents though, there is still room for improvement. because, one, in the last seven games, brandon roy has only made 1 of 13 three point attempts and has actually missed his last 12 tries. and two, because he is currently shooting 49.6 percent shooting and not 100 percent.