Today's Best - 12.09.07

5. minnesota timberwolves - in the most impressive win of the weekend, the timberwolves defeated the suns 100-93 saturday night in minnesota. al jefferson had 32 points and 20 rebounds to lead minnesota to only their third win of the season. this meant coming into the game, the suns had won six times as many games by at least 10 points that the timberwolves had won by at least one. minnesota was obviously not interested in the past and held phoenix to their fewest point total of the year. even more impressively, a 4th quarter where each team only scored 13 points wasn't horribly boring. but i'm afraid the news isn't all rosy for the wolves, because despite being a terrific rebounder and adequate defender, corey brewer is a woefully inaccurate shooter. in the last two games, corey has made 6 of 25 field goals while not connecting on any of his three-point or one-point attempts. corey brewer is shooting as if basketball was a multiple choice test he didn't study for.

4. the legal system - i'm no legal buff, but it appears this weekend was a big one for legal buffs. barry bonds entered a not guilty plea in his first court appearance since being charged with lying under oath about using steroids, michael vick will be sentenced later today for dogfighting, and brandon rush was arrested for failing to appear in court on traffic charges which included driving with a suspended license, speeding, driving on the wrong side of the road, and having no proof of insurance. anyways, since i'm probably not going to understand much of the proceedings of these three cases, i'm just holding out hope that judge dredd is residing over each one. not only would i have a better idea of what is going on, but they'd all end after an hour and a half at which point i'd say "that movie ruled."

3. darren mcfadden - in a season of college football where no team proved anything, it was nice to see the heisman awarded to a player whose production was consistently impressive over the course of the season. it's also nice to see that tim tebow is the next player who must overcome the heisman jinx and not darren mcfadden. this was actually the second year that mcfadden came in second which means over the last two years he's been just good enough to not get jinxed, which i think is the perfect amount of good to be. i don't feel like looking anything up, but i'm going to assume that he's the only player who's ever not gotten jinxed in consecutive years. well i guess thousands of college players don't get jinxed each year. but darren mcfadden's the only one that's got that wood baby.

2. philadelphia 1776ers - the sixers and knicks played twice this weekend and philadelphia won both games comfortably. interestingly, in the first game friday night, the knicks won the first quarter 27-26. unfortunately, the sixers won the next seven quarters while outscoring the knicks by 40 points over that span. it was so bad for the knicks that shavlik randolph played in both games which were the first two games shavlik randolph has played in this year. and now thanks to the knicks, we currently live in a world where shavlik randolph is averaging 24 rebounds and 24 personal fouls per 48 minutes. anyways, after the second game, one in which the knicks lost at home by 28, andre iguodala told reporters, "i don't think the knicks played their best basketball." other revelations iguodala shared included: "water is wet", "the earth is round", and "everyone poops".

1. floyd mayweather - since most of the boxing knowledge i have is from mike tyson's and super punch outs, i'm definitely not someone whose opinion you should seek regarding saturday night's mayweather-hatton fight. by my untrained eye though, it was a pretty entertaining bout and floyd mayweather came out victorious after knocking out hatton 10 rounds after entering the ring with mark cuban and other dancing with the stars castmates. i thought this was a terrific outcome especially considering ricky hatton's contingent of british fans booed the star spangled banner during pre-fight festivities. anyways, if mayweather retires like he continues to hint at, he will do so as the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. but i remember reading once that ants are actually the strongest creatures in the world in relation to their size. and since i beat up ants like every day, logically, i should be able to easily dispatch pretty boy floyd no problem. unless ants don't weigh 150 pounds like i've been assuming.