5. scrap, pluck, grit, and moxie - good news for anyone who tries, canada is hiring. at least that's what the toronto blue jays would have you believe after signing david eckstein to a one-year, $4.5 million contract. eckstein is known more for being a short baseball player who gives maximum effort than he is for being a good baseball player at a reasonable height. as if that weren't enough, just to prove that he cares more than everyone else, he sprints to first base whenever he gets walked. i assume this is also how he crosses the street. anyways, blue jays manager john gibbons had this to say about his new shortstop and leadoff hitter: "he's a tough out and he really battles. he just seems to find a way to get something done." the only way this could have been a more generic description of a baseball player is if john gibbons explained how david eckstein "plays the game the right way", "takes it one game at a time" and "uses steroids". i can wait until next season when david eckstein is completely mediocre despite leading the league in highest percentage given with 110%.
4. mario williams - with reggie bush likely out for the remainder of the season and vince young struggling, mario williams made a strong case for rookie of the 2nd year with a 3.5 sack game that helped the texans defeat the broncos 31-13. it was houston's seventh win this season, which ties a franchise record. after the game, mario told reporters that "this is our first big-stage game. everybody was watching. we were the only game. we kind of showed the world what we can do." unfortunately, thanks to nfl network, "we were the only game" was the only accurate sentence in his entire response. but i guess if you're second in the league in sacks you say whatever you want.
3. wizards defense on good players - for the first time in their last nine games in miami, the wizards beat the heat 104-91. it was washington's third consecutive win and the fourth time in five games where they held their opponent under 92 points. defensively, the team appears to playing better now than they at any other point during eddie jordan's regime. this is until you realize that the wizards have now allowed a middling player to score a career high number of points against them in back-to-back games. on tuesday, craig smith bullied his way to 36 points while shooting 14 of 22 from the field and last night, chris quinn managed to score 22 points on 6-10 shooting from three. it was both the first time chris quinn has scored 22 points and the first time he's ever entered a game with his shoes on the right feet. regardless, this game has taught us one important thing about each team. first, it's going to be difficult for washington to maintain their current success if they don't figure out how to stop their opponent's 8th best player. and second, if you're a team that allows chris quinn to shoot more than dwyane wade, it's time to invest in some "better basketball" dvds.2. the parkers - last night, the lakers played a spurs team that was missing two legs of its tripod. ultimately, ginobili wasn't able to support the camera on his own and los angeles won 102-97. the results probably would have been different had duncan and parker played, but like me, they just watched the game helplessly. but as if to prove that we are not at all alike, rumors have surfaced that tony parker cheated on eva longoria, his celebrity wife, with a model. tony and eva have already released separate statements refuting these reports, but this has done little to keep me from submitting numerous all star votes for tony parker. i'd seriously trade an entire year's salary to live tony parker's charmed life for one day. not only would i get to be a star basketball player with two women draped off both of my arms, but i'd make more money in one day as him than i do in an entire year as me.
1. clear plastic report covers - i assume whatever company makes these things made a killing yesterday when the mitchell report was released and then made available for download, for whatever reason. i can't think of another time a document like this was ever widely distributed to the public. it's like in high school when the basketball coach put up the list of players who made the team on his door and everyone rushed to see if they were on it. except in this case, the high school kids are really strong, copies of checks they wrote are included, and the list is 400 pages long. i guess it's not very similar at all. other than the fact that in both cases, my name wasn't listed. maybe next year.
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