5. kyle korver - this photo was emailed to me by no less than three people. and every time i opened it, i laughed. i
'm still having trouble understanding exactly how this happened, so i went back to the play by play to figure it out:
- "rashad mccants with the steal, he's going the other way."
- "korver and price are back and...what's this?"
- "it appears that the boogie man has entered the arena!"
- "and there's dracula and the wolfman! oh no, it's all of kyle korver's childhood nightmares!"
- "and he's cowering in fear and resisting the urge to wet himself. what a sad day for basketball!"
- "mccants scores. someone get korver out from under the scorer's table."
4. sidney crosby - when alex ovechkin scored his 50th goal of the season, sid the kid decided that he needed to get back to work. he played a big part in the game, providing the assist on the game-winner in a 2-0 victory over the lightning. after a month and a half on the shelf, crosby looked a little rusty, but i imagine i wouldn't skate too well after 6 weeks off either. with alex and sid the only reasons the nhl is relevant, it's good to have them both on the ice. but we need to focus on getting them some better nicknames. i suggest "sexy lexy" and "sidney the kidney".
3. chris andersen - for the first time in two years, it's time for the birdman to fly. so flight traffic controllers need to be on the lookout for irregular patterns appearing overhead. chris was suspended in 2006 for a positive test for an unspecified amphetamine. the league became suspicious of possible drug use when they looked at him. andersen is best known for the 2005 dunk contest, in which he threw half court passes to himself for five solid minutes before finishing his dunk. a former hornet, he is expected to receive a contract offer from the team in the coming weeks. his presence would be a welcome boost to their playoff push, if only because bonzi wells would no longer being the craziest person on the team.
2. scoring point guards - it's not every day that a team scores 118 and ends up getting blown out by 17. but despite 38 from joe johnson, the atlanta hawks proved to be no match for golden state. baron davis led the warriors with 35 points and 9 passes that directly led to field goals for his teammates (aka "assists"). for the highest scoring team in the league even tuesday was a surprise, as they set a season-high for points in a game. "we figured that this is not comfortable scoring at a pace like this," said baron. keeping people uncomfortable must explain why the warriors’ defense relies so heavily on wedgies and wet willies.
1. brett favre - i'm a little nervous writing this because i'm scared that favre could change his mind at any moment. he announced his retirement yesterday and for the first time in seventeen years, i'll go into the next football season without fear of the number 4. for many years, i've downplayed favre's accomplishments, harped on his shortcomings, and attacked his character. but the fact is favre is probably the best quarterback of my lifetime and for someone to have his longevity is absolutely unbelievable. he's a first ballot hall of famer and i'll probably be complaining about him fifty years from now. while i'm glad he won't be on the field any more, a part of me wishes he'd stick around. beating green bay won't feel the same without his miserable face on the sidelines.
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